I had been staying with my friend Alex in this dilapidated trailer along the railroad tracks on the toxic waste part of town for some time now. It hasn’t been horrible, to be honest. The place is like a nook, on the very edge of town where no one goes. The days followed a simple formula. If it was a week day, Alex and his roommate Duff would wake up early, like, gosh, 5:30 in the damn morning to go to work. There was always a train that would come right by the trailer about that time in the morning and wake them up; and me, unfortunately. I didn’t have a job; I would be moving in less than two weeks so it would be rather pointless to be employed. After they would get off work, we would hopefully have money for cigarettes and booze, and maybe some other drugs, and with whatever money we had left we would buy some food.
In the day time it wasn’t so bad. It was hardly ever bad in the day time; hell, maybe even enjoyable. But, spending the whole goddamn day by yourself in that trailer, while everyone’s at work, can make you all sorts of lonely. It starts to feel like not only is there not a soul in the damn place, but there ain’t a soul anywhere! It’s terrible, really. Jeez, I did some nutty things for company sitting in that trailer. I’d look through the yellow pages and dial all sorts of numbers. I used to love to call Summer Street Gym. I always talked to either “Rock Hard Rob” or “Benching Bob”. It’s kind of funny, all Rock Hard Rob ever talked about was how much he could bench, and Benching Bob never mentioned it. Bob preferred the lat pulldown. I told them I was 98 lbs. and wanted to mainly work on my pecs and biceps. That all probably just sounds ridiculous. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to, like if you get a thought in your head and you really want someone else’s opinion, just to make sure you haven’t been getting a bit nutty.
I would sometimes walk across the trailer park and talk to Beetle. Beetle really isn’t such a bad guy at all, but goodness gracious he sure isn’t attractive. He’s always drinking these giant cans of beer; 32 ounces of Miller High Life. He says he likes to drink those rather than buying cases of beer all the time. He says he is trying to “cut back a little”. According to him, the larger can makes him think he is drinking more than he really is. Duff will always refer to Beetle’s idea as “very Freudian”. Gosh, he’s an idiot. But, believe it or not, Beetle’s idea caught on, actually. From time to time, we’ll walk to the gas station and get the “Beetle special”; where everyone gets two 32 oz. cans of Miller High Life. It’s terrible, really.
Anyway, it was a Friday night and no one seemed to have anything to do tomorrow at all. We had quite a bit of dough, too. Usually there isn’t much money around, but that night we had plenty. We bought some alcohol, called “Southern Homestyle” or something like that. It was a cheap rip-off from Southern Comfort, but the bottle was 100 proof and only eight dollars. I remember Trevor was there. All the way back from the Liquor Store he kept talking about how the bottle was “such a steal” and us “getting the bang for our back”. Christ Almighty, you should have heard him. I thought he would never shut up about the whole thing.
We arrived back at the house.
“Alex, let me see the keys,” Duff said.
“Here,” Alex said butting through and unlocking the door himself.
Jesus, it was cold in there.
“Man, guys, we really made the most out of our money,” Trevor said.
God, I really wish he would just shut up about it.
“I mean, we practically robbed them,” he said again.
“Trevor! Would you just shut up about it…goddamn,” I said.
“I’m just sayin’. Shit,” he said.
We started pouring everyone a glass. We decided to mix it with Cherry Coke. Every time Alex had SoCo and Coke or Pepsi in the past he always thought it tasted like Cherry Coke. It turned out to be a really good idea. Everyone mixed their drinks and we started sitting around, chatting about all sorts of things.
“Sierra and Paige might come over tonight,” Duff said.
“Gosh, Sierra really has gained an awful amount of weight, hasn’t she,” I said.
“When was the last time you’ve seen her?”
“A couple weeks ago, when they were both over here.”
“No. That wasn’t Sierra. You’re thinking about Paige. Paige is the fat one.”
“Yeah, but, gosh, she really is a fat cunt isn’t she?” I said.
He laughed a little bit and kind of nodded.
“Man, I’m really in the mode to smoke or trip or something,” I said. I guess, I should explain. Me and my friends stopped saying “in the mood”, it just sounds far too homoerotic. We started saying “in the mode” instead. Because “in the mode” just sounds so much better, kind of like what a battle droid might say.
“Eli, you really are some kind of drug addict, you know it,” Alex said.
“No. Not at all, really. I just haven’t smoked in awhile,” I said.
“Well, Sierra might be bringing weed,” Duff said.
“Aw, she’d be a true hero wouldn’t she?”
“Sure. Sure she would be,” Duff replied.
“I actually have an idea,” I said. “Duff, have you ever done DXM…robotripping?”
“Nope,” he said. “Why, do you have some?”
“No, but I can get some. Easy,” I said.
“Will it get me fucked up?” Duff questioned.
“Oh sure. Things will jump around and turn colors. It can be wild,” I said.
“Well, get me some. If it’ll do the trick,” he said.
We sat around some more. We were getting pretty buzzed after awhile. Every time Alex gets drunk he gets this glossy-eyed expression and this horrible shit-eating grin. He looks like a classic abusive husband. I mean, Christ, after looking at that expression on his face I wanted to start doing some goddamn dishes. Duff always gets belligerent drunk. Trevor turns into a moron. He started talking to me about how “theoretically possible” the hyperbolic time chamber in Dragonball Z is. All you have to do is put dark energy generators in the walls, and build the whole thing out of anti-matter, and, according to him, it is “perfectly plausible.”
“It’s because space time is a fabric,” he said. “That’s the key right there. It wouldn’t work unless time was a fabric.”
Gosh it’d make you sick, I bet. I stopped listening to Trevor and turned an ear towards the conversation between Alex and Duff.
“I was thinking, Duff. Well, when we were at work the other day, that girl with the leathery skin. Christ, what was her name. Cassie, or something. But she breaks right down, balling her eyes out.”
“Yeah, she’s new, I know,” Duff said.
“Well, that’s not it. I hear her crying and all I can think is ‘shut up so I can do my work, for chrissake…’”
“So?”
“It’s just that, is it really, I don’t know, natural, to be so incredibly jaded at such a young age?” he said lighting up a cigarette. “I’m only in my early twenties, and to be completely honest, most people make me sick half the time. Everyone just always has that same look on their face, and they pronounce their words so goddamn intensely, like time is slowing down or something.”
“What?” I said.
He looked over and blew his smoke in my face.
“Honestly, it’s hard to explain. But, really, does that sound a bit too jaded to you?”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. Hell, it sounds normal to me,” I said. I then turned to Duff, who was just kind of looking around.
“Duff,” I said.
“What?”
“Why did you invite Sierra and Paige? It’s kind of irresponsible if you ask me.”
“Irresponsible? Why?”
“Well, first of all. Every time I listen to Sierra talk, it’s just painful. It’s not really the things she says, it’s just the way she says them. That’s what always gets me.”
“That’s all in your head. She’s not so bad. And besides, she’s bringing weed.”
“Great. That’s great about the weed. But still, don’t lie to yourself. You know it’s dreadful. She just talks like she’s embarrassed; she sounds like she’s a young girl having to tell her parents that she’s pregnant.”
Duff cracked a smile, and then went back to concentrating on his drink. The alcohol was going pretty fast. Then, speak of the devil, Sierra and Paige burst in the door.
“Hey everyone!” Sierra said. Paige didn’t say anything, she just moped around the place.
They both had a seat and got somewhat comfortable. To be honest, the trailer could be kind of cozy from time to time. Sierra and Paige had brought a cooler with a few beers. I really wanted to know if they brought marijuana, but really didn’t want to ask. But, then again, alcohol does a number on your inhibitions.
“Sierra. Did you bring any green?”
“Fuck, Eli! I just walk in the fucking door and that’s the first thing you ask me?”
Ugh, I could have been sick right there. Sierra seemed to be in that high school phase in which you say the F word all the time. It’s not funny or impressive, or anything really. The F word should be strictly limited to Samuel L. Jackson, pornography, and that one overly dramatic scene in every PG-13 movie. Any more than that and it can be just unbearable.
Well, anyway, we all sat around drinking for quite some time. We were all getting pretty drunk. I remember I was drunk enough to handle this god awful music coming out of the speakers. Sierra habitually insists on playing this C.D. full of these rancid songs. It always sounds like the same guy, some very smooth black guy with this creamy voice. Gosh, all I can think about when I hear this music is bathroom product commercials. I remember Alex was getting drunk faster than anyone else. I looked over at him, and he had that same shit-eating grin I was telling you about. I was a bit worried.
“Eli, tell me if I’m wrong,” he said.
“What’s that?” I said.
“I’m sensing a bit of hostility between you and me. What do you think?”
“You really think so?”
He got that smile on his face again and looked over at Paige.
“Hey Paige,” Alex said.
“Yeah?”
“Earlier today, you know what Eli said?”
For the love of God. I really wish he wouldn’t have said this.
“What did he say?”
“He said you’re a fat cunt. Exact words.”
Well, I did say that. But, God, did he really have to say that?
“Alex, you’re trashed,” she said. “And, Eli, if you really did say that, fuck you.”
I guess that blew over without too much trouble. We kept just sitting around, drinking. It wasn’t really much of a party. I didn’t want to drink too much because of my sleep walking problem. When I drink too much I have a horrible habit of walking around, sometimes outside. I’ve even woken up outside once or twice in someone’s lawn. It’s very strange, I know. While I was sitting there, I remembered my idea about robotripping. I hadn’t robotripped in awhile, and Duff said he wanted to do it. The only person there with a car was Sierra, and I thought that maybe she would give me a ride to the store so I could run in and get some for me and Duff.
“Hey Sierra, do me this favor, wouldja?”
“What? What’s that?”
“Well, I need a ride to Hy-Vee. I just got to pick something up. It’ll take maybe half a minute, in all honesty.”
“Well, hold on, at least. Just let me finish this beer.”
“Alright.”
We sat around for what seemed like forever. Sierra was casually sipping on her beer. Trevor was the only one who really kept talking. It could really get old after awhile. He kept talking about the “implications” of being a multi-cellular organism. Trevor really thought he was a high-class philosopher.
“It’s just amazing to think about,” he said. “It’s almost as if you aren’t just one being, but thousands of organisms, all trying to cooperate the best they can to create you, a multi-cellular organism.”
Gosh, I really was hoping Sierra would finish her beer.
“Hey Sierra, you about ready to go?”
“Yeah, just a minute.”
I waited for much longer than a minute. I spent a few moments counting all my money. I really didn’t have much, only about four dollars. I wasn’t sure how much it would be, but I would make it work.
“Alright, Eli, let’s go,” she said.
I didn’t say anything, but got up and went out the door. It really was terribly freezing outside. You could see the moon slipping through holes in the cloud cover every now and then. To be honest, as much as I hate to say this, it seemed a bit ominous. I hopped in the car and Sierra got in her side. She sat there for a moment with this expression on her face; she looked confused.
“Fuck, I forgot my C.D.” she said. She kept sitting there, with that look on her face.
I was really hoping she wasn’t going to go inside and get that C.D.
“I’ll be right back, I have to go get my C.D.”
I sat in her car and couldn’t help but snoop around a little bit. I saw some change in between the seats and thought I might need a little extra, so I took it. I also saw a bag of skittles. The bag was more than half empty, and strangely enough there were only red and purple skittles in the bag. Sierra then came back outside and got in the car. She turned the key and immediately put the C.D. in and turned up the music.
I really didn’t say much at all for the beginning of the ride. This music was just terrible. I was becoming so frustrated listening to it that all I did was stare out the window biting my nails furiously. It was terrible.
“Would you stop doing that! It’s a really bad habit,” Sierra said.
“Well, maybe if you’d stop being such a codependent enabler!” I said.
“A what?”
“This music!”
“What’s wrong with my music? This is what everyone listens to,” she said.
I stopped biting my nails so she wouldn’t mention it anymore. The car ride seemed to last forever, even though it was only several blocks. Eventually we pulled into the parking lot and I went inside. I made a right and walked down the aisle very naturally. If I didn’t have enough money I would have to steal them. I found the medicine aisle and started browsing. Usually, when I would robotrip in the past, I would drink Robotussin. This time, though, I thought I might get triple C’s, the pills, since I had already been drinking. I looked around and started to feel kind of nervous, like I was being watched. I found the Coricidan Capsules I was looking for and I really didn’t have enough money for two at all. It’s always a silly idea to buy something and steal something at the same time, so I would have to steal both. I grabbed two boxes and briskly walked through a couple aisles, looking around at all the products as if I was going to buy something else. I then turned around after I slipped the boxes into my pants and walked right out.
Gosh, it was really terrible walking out of that store. There was this very goofy kid eyeballing me the entire time. It was really unsettling, but I made it out of the store and got back in Sierra’s car.
“What did you have to get?” she asked pulling out.
“These,” I said lifting up my shirt and taking out the boxes.
“Jesus Christ, you stole them! What are they?”
“Triple C’s, they make you trip,” I said.
“Oh my God, Eli, you’re an ass. Now I’m an accomplice,” she said.
I didn’t say another goddamn word the entire drive back to the trailer. It really was a horrible car ride; Sierra kept playing the same song over and over again. Every time it would get to this part where the tempo would change and this girl would start singing, she would push a button and the song would start over. It’s just not something I want to talk about, to be honest. But then we arrived at the trailer.
I walked inside and had a seat next to Duff. Sierra immediately started ranting to her friend Paige about how what I did was such an “immature crime”. Also, Duff’s girlfriend Sara had showed up while we were gone. Sara is actually very cool. Sara is very real; she just isn’t the type to lie to you or exaggerate a story or anything like that. I tossed the boxes on the table and Duff took a look at them.
“Well, Duff, here’s what we do. I take every pill in this box and you take every pill in your box. It’ll be fantastic, honestly,” I said.
“Don’t do it, Duff,” Sierra said. “You know it’s a bad idea.”
God, she can really be the goddamn maternal figure sometimes.
“Don’t listen to her, Duff. I do it all the time and it’s always fun,” I said.
“Alright, let me get something more to drink and I’ll start taking them,” he said. “Sierra, why don’t you toss me a beer?”
“Duff, I really wish you wouldn’t. It’s just a bad idea,” she said. I thought it was kind of funny that she was perfectly fine with me taking the pills. Sierra handed him a beer and he cracked it open. We both opened the boxes of pills. They were these large, reddish brown pills.
“Well, Duff, you should take every pill in the box. It takes at least fifteen to really trip, and twenty will really do the trick,” I said. I was being very sincere; it really was terrible.
“Give me these fuckers,” he said. He started taking the pills, drowning them with the beer. I decided to start taking mine, as well. Although I wasn’t going to take the whole box, I decided to take only about eight of them. To be honest, I really had no idea how many it would take to trip, but I thought I should play it safe.
We sat around for some time longer, just drinking. We played some drinking games like “Circle of Death” and “Fuck the Dealer”. They played “Fuck the Dealer” completely wrong. I tried correcting them like a jackass, but they insisted my way was just plain stupid. Duff looked over at me.
“Did you take all your pills?” he questioned.
“Yep, every one of ‘em,” I replied. I still had twelve more in my pocket.
“So how long does this take?” he asked again.
“It can take longer than an hour, you just have to be patient,” I said.
Thank God Alex changed the music. I could tell he was getting as frustrated as I was with Sierra’s C.D. But he didn’t really improve the situation much more. He started playing “Say Anything”, and I honestly don’t like that band very much. Honestly, though, it really is all my fault; my taste in music is just far too particular. Lately all I’ve been able to really stand is German rap and electronic music. But really, anything was better than “Lil’ Smooth”.
Everyone in the trailer was actually getting rather rowdy and difficult to handle. Alex really seemed to have a comical problem with Sierra. He kept telling her over and over about how he didn’t like her face and he would give her a playful shove from time to time. It was about that time that Sierra decided to take out the marijuana.
“So, you guys want to smoke?” she said.
“Of course,” Duff said.
She took out a bag of green and dumped it out on the table.
“Eli, why don’t you see if the Coyote is under the couch,” Duff said looking at me.
I felt under the couch, and sure enough there was our homemade steamroller under there. It’s a pretty long, thin steamroller made out of a white PVC pipe. It’s kind of funny, actually. We decided to turn this PVC pipe into a smoking device after we noticed that the manufacture date on the pipe was printed as “4/20/2007”. I really do hate to say this, but it was like it was “meant to be”. Sierra grabbed the Coyote and packed a bowl and lit it up. She passed to the left afterwards, following etiquette. Of course, I was to her right, so I naturally assumed she passed it to the left not to follow etiquette, but to piss me off by making me last in line.
The night went on and on; we smoked and drank. About an hour passed and I was feeling very messed up. I’m not sure if it was the alcohol or the DXM or the weed, but it was probably all of them. We eventually decided to watch a movie called “In Bruges”. Honestly, I can’t stand the vast majority of movies that are out there. But, I do really enjoy “In Bruges”. There is this one part when the main character is sitting on a bench, and his friend who has been ordered to kill him approaches him from behind, gun in hand. Then, the guy sitting on the bench takes out his own gun and puts it to his head. The guy behind him lets down his gun instantly and runs up to him. I mean, Christ, what does something like that say about the human psyche?
Anyway, only about ten minutes after the movie started, I look over at Duff. He didn’t look too hot. His eyes were wide and he was just staring at the screen without blinking. Then all of the sudden he stands up and rushes into the bathroom. The next thing you hear is this terrible heaving and eventually vomit hitting the water. Everyone looked at me, like I was a crook.
“Eli, what did you give him?” Sierra said.
“Triple C’s. I took some too, he’ll be fine. Quit being such a stupid, crabby mom.”
“I’ll go check on him,” Sara said and stood up. I really couldn’t help my curiosity; I just wanted to see the damage I had done. So I stood up and followed Sara into the bathroom. It really was pathetic. Duff had no shirt and was hugging the toilet with his eyes clearly out of focus, bulging out of his head. He seemed to be trying to say something but it was mostly incoherent babble. It sounded like he was trying to say, “Why did you do it?” All it really sounded like was “Wuddjadooit?” It really was a terrible scene in the bathroom.
Pretty soon Sierra and Paige got really curious about what was happening and came to see. Duff had curled up into a ball on the floor, mumbling. Sierra was completely irate over the whole thing.
“Eli, you fucker! This is all your fault!” she yelled.
“Oh relax. That always happens. After you puke you start to trip, every time,” I said.
“Well why aren’t you puking? I think you poisoned him!” she yelled again.
“He probably just drank more than I did. That’s all,” I said. “He’ll be fine. DXM fucks you up hardcore.”
Sara got him a pillow and a glass of water. Sierra told me that because it was my fault I would be the one that had to watch him all night and make sure he was okay. You might think that Sara would be the most upset with me, since she was his girlfriend and all. But Sara just really isn’t that type. She isn’t the type to bitch at you, even in a situation like this. She’ll just do what she can to make it better, without throwing more fuel on the fire. She must have tremendously good karma. But, Jesus, Sierra wouldn’t let it drop. She really did think I was heartless. Duff started trying to talk again.
“Can, canja make it go away? Da puke, ugh, yuck,” he said and threw up all over the floor.
“Once it’s all out of his system, we’ll move him to his room,” I said. “Sara why don’t you watch him, I’m missing the rest of “In Bruges”.”
“Okay,” she said.
We left Sara and Duff in the bathroom. From time to time you could hear these nasty, puking sounds coming down the hall. To be honest, it was really ruining the movie. Sierra would not shut up about the whole thing. By then I was feeling a bit off too. I’m not sure exactly what motivated me to do it, but I decided to take the rest of the pills I had in my pocket. I know, that really doesn’t make any sense at all. After seeing Duff in the bathroom you’d think I wouldn’t want to take as many as he took. I did anyway, though.
“Let me see that box, Eli,” Sierra said. I tossed it over to her and she started reading everything it said. Something that seemed to slip past me was that on the front it said that these pills were good for high blood pressure.
“Oh my God, Eli, these pills do something to blood pressure,” Sierra said.
“So?”
“Did you know Duff has blood pressure problems? Are you trying to fucking kill him?” she said, interrogating me.
“Goddamn, Sierra. Firstly, I didn’t know any of that. You make it sound like I’m incredibly heartless. I just wanted Duff to have a good time and trip. I didn’t know this was going to happen at all. And besides, if it’s good for high blood pressure he should be completely cured after taking so many of ‘em, right?” I said that last bit jokingly of course. She didn’t think it was very funny.
“That’s not how it works,” she said.
I really just shut my mouth after that. I wanted to watch the rest of this movie and not think about what was going on. I lit up a cigarette. It was a menthol, which I usually don’t like. But for some odd reason, when I’m drunk, I really can enjoy a menthol. After the movie was over Duff was pretty much done puking, Alex was practically asleep on the couch, and Sierra and Paige decided to leave. It must have been about 3 or 3:30 in the morning. It was such a relief to have those two broads leave, as horrible as that sounds. I decided to go check out the mess in the bathroom.
“My God, he sure is messed up, isn’t he?” I said.
“Yeah…” Sara said. This whole thing was so depressing. I kind of started to feel bad for him, he was sleeping through his trip. I then decided that maybe me and Alex should move him to his room so he could just sleep it off. I went back into the living room and woke up Alex.
“Yo, I need your help. We have to move Duff,” I said.
He didn’t respond.
“Alex! Wake up! We have to move Duff!”
He still didn’t even move, so I went back into the bathroom.
“Well, Alex is passed out, and I don’t know where Trevor went. Do you think me and you could move him?”
“We can try,” she said.
We tried to wake him up, so maybe he would be able to walk with us supporting him to his room.
“Hey Duff! Me and Eli are going to move you to your room, okay? Do you think you can stand?”
He made a gurgling sound and then said something about me, I’m not sure what he said. It sounded kind of like “Eli’s a shitbag”, but who knows. We tried a couple more times to wake him up, but he just kept lying there, gurgling. Then after awhile he just kept saying, “Leave me, leave me.” Sometimes he would mix it up and say, “I don’t wanna die, but you have to leave me.” It was honestly just plain disturbing.
“Do you think we should just leave him?” I said.
“Well, I just want to make sure he’s okay,” Sara said.
“But he keeps saying, ‘leave me, leave me’. Maybe he just wants us to leave?”
“I don’t know. You can leave, but I’m going to stay here,” she said.
I left the bathroom and went back out to the living room. Alex was still passed out on the couch. I was really wanting to sleep on the couch, but I knew how extremely unpredictable Alex is when he’s drunk, so I didn’t want to risk it. Instead, I just grabbed a blanket and laid down on the floor. It was probably a little past 4 by then. I was starting to feel the second wave of those pills I took as I was laying there. To be honest, it was kind of frightening.
As I was laying there, I could hear music playing. It was extremely faint, but I could have sworn I heard music playing. I was feeling more and more terrible the longer I laid there. All these little sounds were being amplified and nothing looked solid. The outlines of all the objects in the room were jumping around. My brain was taking this music and twisting it around and making it sound extremely eerie. Then all of the sudden it felt like I was paralyzed and couldn’t move. My eyes were still wide open though. I tried to look over at Alex, but he was gone.
I started to have a meltdown. As my eyes scanned the room I could see these large bugs that looked like crickets crawling all over the floor and the walls. I was so scared that I tried to scream, but I couldn’t. My mouth just wouldn’t move, all I could do was lay there and make these croaking sounds. I then started to turn all these things over in my mind. Firstly, I thought about Duff and his blood pressure issues. I thought that maybe he was going to die and I would be convicted and put in prison for being so reckless.
I could still hear that music. I’m not sure if it was getting louder or everything else was getting quieter, but I could hear it. It started to sound like a voice with all these buzzing noises underneath it. Gosh, it was terrifying. The bugs were still crawling all over the room and I could hear even more voices now. I really tried hard to not think about it, but I somehow knew that Duff was dead. I really had no idea how I was going to avoid prison. There were just too many people that knew about it, and if they were to disappear there would just be too much suspicion. I thought that I would be the one that would have to disappear. I decided I would have to become a drifter and get far away. It seemed like my only hope.
I laid there for what seemed like days. I couldn’t stand to look at all the bugs; they were crawling in through the windows and out from under the couch and were walking all around me, but never came extremely close. Jesus, I had to get out of there. I was frozen though. And that music was still playing. It was nothing but these terrible buzzing sounds and these tiny voices talking to each other.
My eyes were fixed on the windows. I kept waiting for that moment when the sky looks very dark blue rather than black. I would know it was morning when that train would come through. The horn on the train was so loud that it would always wake everyone up usually. But I still wanted to try and get some sleep before that train would come barreling through. I tried my hardest to forget about the bugs, and the music, and just shut my eyes and get some sleep. Eventually I seemed to drift off.
I remember having these very strange dreams. I remember living with a community of monks in these very tall towers. They were so tall all you could see below them were clouds. All the monks there had taken an oath of silence, they swore to each other that they wouldn’t tell anyone. I remember in my dream I was somehow special to them, and they had to constantly carry me around. During the entire dream I remember being carried around from tower to tower. They eventually took me to this exceedingly tall tower and set me down and left me there.
Then I started to hear the train horn. It was terribly loud, but I was in such a deep sleep that the sound merely incorporated itself into my dream. As I laid there, it sounded like the train was coming directly towards me. I even tried to imagine the train heading directly for the trailer. I thought that if the train would crash through the trailer and kill everyone, there would be no way to blame me for Duff’s death. But, shit, that train horn was extremely loud now. I can’t remember what I was dreaming about, but hearing the train in my dream quickly became a reality.
* * *
The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed. I looked down and below my knees my legs were gone. I immediately passed out. My friends had told the doctors that I had passed out on the railroad tracks after drinking too much. I’m not stupid, though. Karma’s a bitch, especially when people take it into their own hands.
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